By God's beautiful grace alone, this past weekend we celebrated our 6th anniversary of being a family.
This year was very different, as Mikhail's "Gotcha Day" caused me to reflect back to when he came home, but also on our second child's adoption, and what impact this will all have on Mikhail.
I think my little boy recently received the biggest compliment he could ever possibly receive about all that he has learned and the hard, hard healing he has achieved through this six years of being in a family. The compliment was from God, and it so took Ken and I by surprise that it didn't sink in for several weeks after He spoke. God said to us this:
Your son is ready to be a big brother, and he is ready for all the adventures that lie ahead in bringing a new child into your family.
These next few months will be rough for Mikhail. For any child, the endless plane and train rides, jet lag, unfamiliar culture and surroundings would be difficult. Also, adjusting to another child in the house and sharing attention from his parents will be a challenge for him. But Mikhail has unique needs, too, that stem from his losses early in life. He has fears that are deep rooted and creep up on him over things that seem so innocent and normal. And yet God has said,
"He is ready."
I'm in awe of my boy for this. Oh, the hours of heart surgery that he has endured! I'm in awe of God, too- of His faithfulness, His mind renewing abilities, His glorious plan in the midst of terrifically hard circumstances.
God knew this time would come, even when my doubt was great. For literally years Ken and I have argued with God about adopting again for this very reason. "He's not ready, God! It's too much! He has more healing to do!" But God has spoken so clearly now that we know that we cannot argue. We shut our mouths like Job...and anticipate amazing things! My boy- with all his struggles and all his need for greater depths of healing- my boy is ready to go on a journey that will change him forever.
I couldn't be prouder! All this growing has come at a pretty high price, and my heart soars to think that God is blessing him now with such a terrific gift.
This hard, dirty work God has brought our family through is reaping a harvest of beauty. It's been an immense privilege to watch my strong boy endure what it has meant for his heart to heal. We grown ups honestly have no clue how much this little one (and others like him) has had to surrender, had to learn to yield to God's plans, to give up control, even when it feels to him like he will die if he does.
We would all do well to learn from Mikhail's example of endurance. Maybe no one else would ever understand unless they'd seen it first hand, but God knows every moment and every little victory for truth that has been gained. Each one has been celebrated in heaven! And oh, how there must be some celebrating going on right now, over the anticipation of Mikhail's impact on this new little child and his ability to relate to their necessary healing. One thing is for sure, Mikhail was strategically hand-picked to be this child's big brother, for GOOD and POWERFUL purposes!
Ken and I anticipate, too, the beauty that will come for our boy through this sibling relationship about to be born. Beauty from ashes, that's the work of God, and it's seen so clearly here in my home. What a privilege, what a blessing.
Thank You, Father for allowing me to watch You at work!
