How a Mama Stays Sane... and Ana's Jar

There's this funny thing that happens during the process of adoption... nothing really changes from the outside, no big thing looks different, no one would suspect anything life-altering is going on...and yet this huge, forever change happens inside the hearts of those who are waiting for the little one who is to come.  You realize this little person is real.  She's always been real to God, but all of the sudden she has been labeled as "yours."  Even without laying eyes on her or having a clue where she is, she becomes "daughter."  And this happens long before any official paper ever declares her so.  I guess you would call it falling in love.

While this part of waiting for our Ana is very special and even strategic to the relationship that will come, it also has its down side.  If you love someone, you are concerned for their welfare, want their best, feel a need to protect them.  In loving Ana before we meet her, we are forced to admit where she is right now- far away, unaware of her family waiting, lonely.  Unable to get to her, not knowing where she is, how she is doing, whether she is warm, healthy, satisfied- it's enough to drive a mama mad!

Thankfully God gives such mamas great relief in His Word:

"O Lord, you have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear to vindicate the orphan and the oppressed"    Psalm 10:17-18

This is real, too.  These words are not just a pretty phrase inside a Hallmark card- they are what I put 100% of my trust in for my daughter to be safe and provided for until we can have her in our arms (and after!).  So I can be sane.  I can know that she will be brought to us at exactly the right time.  I will choose to trust my very big, very capable God.

One of Mikhail's biggest struggles about his own adoption is wondering what Papa and I were doing while he was waiting for us to come for him.  I don't blame him- that's a good question!  As much I've tried to explain the complicated maze of paperwork & approval from the powers that be, I think watching it all unfold while we wait for Ana is the biggest help of all.  To try to find a way for Ana to have this same question answered, we have started an "Ana Jar" as a visible way to show her how much we loved and prayed for her while we waited for her to be home.  Each time we pray for Ana, spend time daydreaming about her, or fill out some random piece of paper needed for her homecoming, we add a little paper heart to her jar.  On hard days, we add a whole handful.  It's funny how something so simple gives such a sense of relief!  I hope this little reminder of our love will speak to her heart some day.

Mikhail giggles as I tell him we couldn't find a jar big enough to hold all the thoughts God has of Ana.  "How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!"  Psalm 139:17

Praying for Ana, too?  Stop by and drop your own heart in the jar. Or send us a note... Big Brother would be thrilled to add a heart or two on your behalf!  :)